Alright, deep breath...this is going to be hard for both of us. Let's talk about something that no one really likes to discuss. It causes arguments between the most amicable people. It divides households and can ultimately ruin relationships.
We treat it like a dirty little secret, and not the fun dirty little secret you spill when you have had too much wine. It's a secret we live in denial of.....money.
More importantly your relationship with money.
You are in a bad relationship with your money. You are in a very one-sided and potentially abusive relationship with your money. It started out great, like most relationships do.
It bought you nice things, took you on trips and gave you warm feelings on payday, and never told you that you looked horrible in that outfit.
However as time moved on you realized that the honeymoon phase was over. Now the warm fuzzy feelings are replaced with dread as you open bills and look at your mortgage payment. It seems like your money can never take you anywhere anymore.
Money is no longer sexy.
You stare at your bank account and think to yourself...
"If only I had a little more money I would... feel less stressed, be able to travel each year, buy a bigger house, drive a fancy car, be debt free, retire”...the list goes on.
Maybe you aren't even looking at your bank account. Maybe you are in complete denial of your money. You have turned to cheating on your money with credit cards to buy the things you want because your money can't give you what you need. You have given up and now you are resentful of it.
So how did this happen?
When did our relationship with money turn south (and not south to a tropical beach with tequila)?
We gave up control.
I know what you are thinking, "Great pep talk Caval, but how can we change this?
Well ladies and gentleman, we need to take back control….we need to empower ourselves.
So how do we take control back? We need to rewire our perception of money.
Money is the tool not the result.
- Start with the goal/dream/feeling first.
When you were younger you planned your life guided by your dreams and aspirations, by how you wanted to feel. You didn’t even think about cost because you just knew you were going to make it happen. Whether it was your goal to travel or own your dream home or simply be surrounded by those who love you, those ideas came first....not money.
Evaluate whether this is something you truly want or need.
I hate to say this but we live in a society of comparison and often we are competing against each other to have the best vacation or shiniest car. Ask yourself whether this is really something you want/need or whether this is because of jealousy and competition.
Budget and Plan
I know…I know…I said the “B” word. Don’t hate, just listen. You will be amazed at how budgeting your finances can help you achieve your goals and dreams. When you have a plan towards your goal it becomes infinitely easier to achieve your goal because you can see your progress along the way. This makes it easier to keep yourself going all the way to the finish line.
This is how you can start to have a healthy relationship with money. It is all about shifting your perspective. Wealth and Success are not monetary, even though that is what we have been told to believe.
It is up to you to decide what you will be wealthy and successful in. Remember that you can’t take your bank account to the afterlife.
What perceptions of wealth and success are you currently struggling with? Share your story in the comments below or tell me what you would like me to write about next.